we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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