Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
