well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
