His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
