Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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