READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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