i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
