So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
