THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
