it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
