he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
