Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
