you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
