If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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