Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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