Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
