Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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