just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
