Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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