I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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