Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
