We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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