Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
