If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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