dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
