does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
