Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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