sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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