i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
