Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
