and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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