She announced her abortion via fbk
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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