I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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