Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
