Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
