Joe is yelling at the trees again.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
