How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
