i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Non-Jews are for practice
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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