How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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