your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
