they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
