Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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