My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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