i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
