Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
