Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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