is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
