Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
