let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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