Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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