I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
