I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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