508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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