You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
