I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
