My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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