It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
