I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
