i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
