McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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