Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
