So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
