Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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