Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
