I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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