Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize