Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
