So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
how does that bad decision feel?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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