if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize