Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
